After the storm comes the rainbow and I am here to tell you that I am living in the beauty of all of the colors right now.  The hope and fear that I felt when I was pregnant with T4 has turned to peace now that he is here with us.  We are almost four weeks into being a family of four and my heart is full and happy.  My delivery was just about as smooth as anyone could wish for with a cesarean section, and our experience in the hospital was vastly different than when we had S a few years ago.  S was born a few days shy of 37 weeks and was considered preterm, which meant that they we had a constant flow of doctors and nurses in our room at all times.  T4 was born at 38 weeks and had less need to be checked as frequently.  I had a couple return visits to the hospital the week we came home due to my blood pressure, but it now seems to be regulated and has allowed us to breathe a bit easier.

Life with a newborn and a toddler has made our days and nights more than a little colorful.  S is navigating her feelings about being a big sister and specifically the loss of time that she has with me.  Not surprisingly, I am having those exact feelings about losing time with her.  It is amazing how kids can seem to grow up overnight.  It is like I blinked and instead of this little baby that I left at home when I went to the hospital, I have come home to such a big kid.  Finding ways to creatively split my attention and, not to mention, the space in my lap, has become my biggest focus these last couple of weeks.  I love the newborn stage of endless cuddles that warm my heart and cheer my tired eyes, and I know it is only going to keep on getting better with time.  When I am not cuddling a newborn, I have a toddler who’s language is exploding these days and wants to sit in my lap and talk to me about everything and anything.  Can my days get any better than this?  Both of these rainbow babies that I have, were just what I dreamt of while the storm of my five lost babies rained down.  Today, I feel happy, lucky, and totally in love with my family of four. 

My Rainbow Babies