In recent days, my sister has reminded me of all of the times that she had to eat the stinky fish, literally and figuratively, just because she is the big sister.  Let me provide you with some context for this statement.  During my first year of college and Nichole’s last year of college we went to China with my Dad and Grandpa to visit relatives and to see the places of my Grandpa’s youth.  We had an incredible time – visiting multiple cities, taking a mini cruise boat trip on the Yangtze River, climbing the Great Wall of China, and meeting many of our family members that I had not met before. Our trip was filled with incredible food – a vast array of dim sum, Peking duck, seafood, vegetables, and more dim sum just to name a few. However, during one of our meals with our relatives, there was an abundant table set to impress…and the food just kept coming.  Course after course of amazing food, until a plate of stinky fish was passed around.  We each took our share, but after one bite I could eat no more, as the fish were dried, and they crackled and crunched against my teeth with the small bones that were still inside.  All I had to do was look at Nichole.  Being the big sister, she quietly took it off my plate and took one for the team and ate it.  This happened again later in the night when I was stuffed well passed submission and the fourth round of mutton was being passed – I could not eat one more bite.  I could tell by the look on Nichole’s face that she was also in this place of agony, but, she once again took one for our team, the sister team, and took the mutton off of my plate.  We would, in no way offend our relatives, or disappoint our Grandpa by refusing the meal that had been prepared for us.  I’ve always been grateful to have this kind of big sister.  One who is an equal part of our sister team and loves me unconditionally. 

My days with S and T4 are active and fun and crazy and hectic all rolled into one.  Frequently, they are both in need of my attention and I feel an unending amount of guilt when I can’t help them both at the same time.  It is especially hard with the ages that they are at – S can vocalize what she needs and can be relentless in her mission to get my attention, while many times T4 happily plays on the floor close by.  When his happiness ends, it can be guaranteed that I am helping S with lunch, helping her with the potty, or one of the other million things that we do together.  More times than not, he ends up waiting longer than what I would like before I can to get to him. As you can imagine, this makes me feel pretty crappy.  I try my best for them to have equal attention, but it’s not always possible.  I have to remind myself that as this crazy life continues, she will continue to do things before him because she is older, but he will always be able to say that he has a big sister, one that has blazed a trail ahead for him.  T4, you will only ever know a life that is filled with sharing – sharing toys, sharing attention, sharing your things, but I hope that you also see that your life includes sharing the love of a sibling.  If you are really, really, lucky, S will grow up to be the kind of big sister that eats the stinky fish on your first trip to China.