If there is one word that I have learned to really embrace and live by as a parent, it is perspective. Being a SAHM isn’t easy. Period. This is a hard job that requires endurance, endless amounts of love, and an openness that most people aren’t accustomed to. I frequently tell Thomn that I recognize that he has a challenging job in many ways…but he gets to go to the bathroom by himself whenever he wants. Scarlett is all about story telling right now – wanting to hear them from us but also telling some of her own. Most of them true stories about things that have happened in the past when she was a baby or in my “belly,” so when she launched into story mode the other day, I was not surprised. However, what she said caught me off guard: (Also, the only real way to read this is to sing it, because, that is how she rolls…) “Daddy’s on his way home from work and then he will come in the door and say “Family I missed you” and then he will change his clothes and then you will go to the bathroom and then I will miss you while you are gone.” There are some days that I have no more than two minutes by myself the entire day and when I am not careful, it is easy to get caught up in the frustration of that reality. But when you put it all into perspective it suddenly and quite magically becomes an entirely new day. I have the dream job that I have always wanted, and I have two rainbow babies that love me so unconditionally that when I escape to the bathroom after Thomn gets home, they protest and let me know that they would prefer that I keep playing when them.
The thing about perspective is that I must remind myself fairly regularly to bring everything back into focus. Maybe it is the kids ages, maybe it’s just me. More than ever, I find myself needing this shift in focus when it comes to toys. Long before everyone out there began #TidyingUp I have wanted to purge 75% of the playroom toys. There have been quite a few boxes of toys that were donated…so much so that when Scarlett can’t find something she is looking for, she asks me if I gave it away to another kid. And the truth is that I am DESPERATE to watch Tidying Up, but I won’t let myself watch it while Thomn is working on his dissertation. I know that five minutes in, my house will be out on the front lawn ready to be donated…and if I currently don’t have time to go to the bathroom by myself, I definitely can’t purge an entire house by my lonesome.
This day, in particular, started to give me the toy sweats:
But when you glance at the picture and see an endless smattering of toys, I choose to see the pretend beach day picnic that Scarlett dreamt up as we longingly talked about this summer and her creativity fired from every angle.
I choose to see the friends that she chose to invite to the picnic, wanting to invite all of them so none of them felt lonely and her kindness shone through.
I choose to see the castle that she insisted we bring so we could have a toy just for her brother to play with and her thoughtfulness was displayed.
I choose to see the bowl of food she set aside for her daddy, so he could be included when he got home from work and her loving heart became even more apparent.
I choose to see that each place setting was made for an individual person, giving them each their favorite foods (“in real life, not pretend”) and her own growth and perception continued to soar.
I choose this life.
I choose to see that my sink full of dishes means we have far more to be grateful for than just the breakfast, lunch and dinner shared. I choose to see that picking up toys in a mad rush before bath time means we had hours upon hours of fun that day. I choose to see that all of the books off of the shelf means that I have two kids that adore reading and it will forever challenge and push the limits of their own minds. I choose to see that every time I have a kid join me in the bathroom, that it is one more story that I got to hear that day or one more hug I received as we walked back to the playroom.
I choose this life. Every crazy, magical, funny, loving moment.
