How do you begin to explain death to a two-year-old?  Each and every day our two-year-old experiences such a wide swing of emotions from joy and pure elation to sadness and anger, but the thing is, these emotions usually have something within her reach to understand.

Daddy is home from work, hooray!  I won’t let you squeeze your brothers neck that tight when you are hugging him.  You dropped your yogurt on the floor and that upset you.

Our house has had a lot of questions about death lately.  Every day we talk about Grandpa Tom whom S has never met in this life, and about Ella, our pup who died just two months after she was born.  The questions really began when she started asking us if she could call Grandpa Tom on the phone.  Calling her grandparents on the phone is one of her favorite things to do, but she could not understand why we couldn’t call him.  We fielded the questions to the best of our ability…and with the truth. But tomorrow we will lay Thomn’s grandma to rest and I feel an utter loss on how to help her understand that Grandma Doris isn’t here anymore. As we laid in bed reading books tonight, S saw a picture of Ella and asked me if she was dead.  When I replied yes, she very calmly asked: Grandma Doris is too?  A wave of grief and emotion overcame me so deeply that I could hardly move. Every fiber of my being feels like I should protect her from finding out what this grief can feel like.  In all reality, maybe it’s not so much the explanation that concerns me as it is trying to protect her.  I find myself questioning basically all aspects of life now that I am a parent, but it seems what will be, will be.  I can’t change this for her, although I desperately wish we could have Grandma Doris back with us.  Just as we regularly talk about Grandpa Tom, we will keep talking about Grandma Doris and what a wonderful, sweet soul she was.  And in true toddler fashion, we will have pendulum style swings of emotion that will accompany these moments.