“I buckled him in and hoped for the best!” This is an actual statement that I made to Thomn earlier in the week as I was recounting one of my days with the kids. And the truth is, I finally figured out why changing tables have a buckle. It isn’t for the first kid when you stare into your baby’s eyes and connect with them during the diaper change, as you are right there and present in every second. It is for the protection of your second baby when you are in the midst of a diaper change for that baby and your toddler yells “boot potty!”, which in this house means, I have a messy diaper, and then reaches into said diaper and unexpectedly touches the “boot potty”. So, I buckled him in and hoped for the best as I tried to contain the mess on her hands…literally.
Our days have found a little bit of rhythm and rhyme to them and there is a small sense of calm in the house. I have found the secret formula to napping this week, and it could very well change next week, but, for today, it is working. I am grateful for the village of people we have supporting us on this whole endeavor. Namely, my neighbor, Julie, has saved me twice. T4 is harder to get down for his first morning cat nap and it is always when S is anxiously awaiting some outdoor play. The first day is was by magic that she walked across the street and offered to play while I put the baby down. The second time was when I called to see if she was up for blowing bubbles and playing in the sandbox until he fell asleep. Thank you, Julie.
One of the most unexpected things that has happened, not only in the last few weeks but in the last few years, is the closeness that I feel with my mom and my sister. We’ve always been close with each other, but there is something about raising babies and losing babies that has turned me even closer to them. If you know Thomn and I at all, you know that we are loners to some degree. We love to spend time with each other and could stay content at home all of the time. When we first started experiencing miscarriages, it made it even harder to come out of that loner state…wanting to just be with each other and our grief. Then it became too much for just the two of us to bear – he found an outlet in his brother and I found that outlet in my mom and my sister. The dynamic has shifted again and with two little ones at home, I find myself not only needing them, but craving time with them. For the first time in my adult life, I have a full summer to enjoy with them. My sister is a school teacher and my mom is a retired school teacher – they have always had the summers to be together and I am thrilled to be spending some of sunny days with them this year. And, above all else, I know that they will be right there next to me when I buckle T4 down and hope for the best, as I hear the words “boot potty” being yelled in the house.
Spending time with Grammie. #holdinghands #mykids #mymom
