After struggling through the better part of a work day, Thomn and I picked up S from school and headed to the doctor’s office.  Half way there we realized that neither of us grabbed the diaper bag that was waiting for us by the door as we also listened to S vocalize her displeasure of going for a long car ride.  It felt like the deck was stacked against us.  Thomn is more than a little superstitious when it comes to the baby appointments, so we stopped for the customary cup of coffee needed before we could enter the building.  All too soon we had arrived.

Normally, at this point, I would have walked into the office trying to find a zen like state in my mind to hold me over for the next 15 minutes, but this is the first time S has gone with us since becoming a toddler and boy did that change things.  All areas of our life have moved and shifted since having her except for this and I hadn’t realized that until today.  The majority of our trips there had taken place when I was pregnant with her or before, and more recently when she was in school for the day.

Trying to find a bit of inner peace was more than a little difficult, however, I was also grateful for the snuggles that she offered up as we waited for the ultrasound.  My breath stopped short when the ultrasound started and showed an empty uterus, but before I could take another breath the view was adjusted and there was our perfectly happy, gummi bear shaped baby, and that flicker of a heartbeat. A collective sigh of relief could be felt in the room.  We have only ever had two positive doctors’ appointments in a row for the same baby and that was with S.  It took me the entire drive home to realize what that means…in March we will be a family of four.  What a good news kind of day.