“Don’t throw up!”  The comment I made to Thomn right before the ultrasound started.  The air in the room was heavy as our doctor looked just as nervous as we were feeling.  Really it was a remark for myself more than anyone else, but Thomn glanced up as he squeezed my hand and said, “who, me?” “All three of us!” exclaimed the doctor.  During the moments before she entered the room, we both mused that there is always a feeling of calm that comes over us as soon as we are waiting in that room.  The ultrasound is just moments away and we are ready to hear our fate, but we have not yet been destroyed by bad news.  There is nothing else to do and peace overtakes us both, even if it is fleeting.“Look, right there!  A flicker!  Do you see the flicker?!”  It always takes me a second longer than both of them to see anything with the awkward angle that I am laying at, but there it is, our baby’s heartbeat.Registering a bit smaller than we had anticipated, we will be back within a matter of weeks for another ultrasound, but for today we are flooded with relief.  Tonight, I will go to sleep, dreaming of the tiny flicker.